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It's a rare occurrence for crypto investors to be in the green, let alone flush with funds. Bitcoin returning to its all-time high has risen the tide for the wider crypto market, causing traders, investors, degens, and gamblers to hold hands and rejoice in market hysteria.
But with all the trillions of dollars circulating in the market, where should you allocate your not-so-hard earnings now that you've established yourself as the Warren Buffet of crypto?
Binance's Digital Ass-scents
Facing a slew of lawsuits from jurisdictions around the world while their former CEO and co-founder awaits sentencing on the back of a $50 million fine, Binance has little time to enjoy the fruits of the ongoing bull market.
Just yesterday, we reported how Binance.US was facing heat from the SEC, which claims the firm failed to provide answers to key questions regarding customer assets.
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Additionally, the Central Bank of Nigeria alleges that the exchange was involved in financial crimes such as money laundering and terrorism financing. The allegations led to Binance discontinuing all its Nigerian naira services following a local regulatory probe.
Binance is also blocked in the UK, Netherlands, Canada, Malaysia, and potentially the Philippines.
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With so much on its plate, you would think that Binance's focus should solely be on addressing these serious allegations, but instead, the world's biggest exchange has been busy concocting its own fragrance.
Perhaps drawing inspiration from the likes of Beyonce and Rihanna, Binance has deemed it fitting to launch its own brand of perfume to capitalize on its brand image, right in time for International Women's Day tomorrow.
There’s still not enough women in crypto.
— Binance (@binance) March 6, 2024
We've launched our new fragrance ‘CRYPTO’ as a new way to open up conversations with the public on what needs to be done to bridge the gender gap.
Find out more 👉 https://t.co/z2ICGrhSnC pic.twitter.com/LDTtLWME4o
Aptly named "CRYPTO," Binance's fragrance is aimed to allure more women into the crypto world. "We've launched our new fragrance ‘CRYPTO’ as a new way to open up conversations with the public on what needs to be done to bridge the gender gap," Binance said in a marketing video.
No price has been revealed, nor how one can actually purchase the product, but we're not convinced the perfume can mask Binance's shady financial behaviour. Don't waste your winnings on this one.
Memecoin Malar-ket
It's not just a market movement; it's a cultural tsunami that's sweeping across the crypto world. Memecoins, like Dogecoin, Shiba Inu, and relative newcomer Pepecoin, are making headlines not just for their price swings but for the stories and communities behind them.
By comparing the majority of the top Memecoins' performance over the last 24 hours with their 7-day performance, we're offered a clear demonstration of the asset group's wild volatility.
Shiba Inu (SHIB) is down almost 14% today but would have more than doubled your money over the week. This month alone, the dog-inspired coin has soared more than 240%.
No matter your skepticism, there's no arguing against a triple-figure return within a week, and investors/traders/gamblers are taking notice.
Trading volumes for the frog-themed tokens have jumped to lifetime highs of $3.6 billion. Stories of turning thousands of dollars into millions have flooded the market. One crafty soul turned $2,708 into $3.25 million with a Trump-related MAGA token.
Unit bias works in the favour of memecoins too. Owning a fraction of a Bitcoin feels less satisfying than owning millions of meme coins, even if the former's value is higher.
What a moment for the history books. Boomers destroyed the financial futures and housing ownership dreams of the Millennials. The Millennials then invent an asset, Crypto, use the Zoomers to popularize it, and then sell it right back to the Boomers at 16,000% markup, forcing the…
— Autism Capital 🧩 (@AutismCapital) February 26, 2024
Crypto venture capitalist Andrew Kang explains, "We are going to reach some serious levels of mental retardation for Memecoins this cycle."
A "new generation of new money Memecoin elites" will be minted in this run, which has just begun, Kang argues.
This new wave of investors cares less about the technology behind cryptocurrency ecosystems and more about the community, hype, and power behind the tokens.
My crypto timeline has gone from mid curve debates about what is the superior blockchain technology to "fuck it, it's a dog with a hat!"
— Raoul Pal (@RaoulGMI) March 3, 2024
Welcome to alt season.
Leave your brain behind and enjoy (but same rules apply: your degen bag should not be your main bag) #DFTU
Alt-season is in full force, and as Raoul Pal says, "Leave your brain behind and enjoy." But as always, play with the house's money.
Undervalued Blockhead Merch
If Rihanna already has your scent-needs covered, and Memecoins don't quite resonate with your risk appetite, may we instead suggest you browse Blockhead's highly desirable range of merchandise?
For the low price of US$38 (0.000011 BTC), you too could be rocking the very distinguished look of a Blockhead with our signature T-shirt.
You've seen them around town, and you've probably wondered to yourself how you can spice up your wardrobe with such an iconic look. Your time has finally come.
If you're lucky enough, buyers might even be airdropped Blockhead's even rarer bucket hat.
We got there first. #CopyCatHat #BlockheadDidItBetter https://t.co/QhD6JHCQI3 pic.twitter.com/r20shXwCrs
— Blockhead (@blockhead_co) September 20, 2023
Seems like the most solid investment to us during this period. Only one question remains: Blockhead merch, wen moon?
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Emmanuel Musa
Emmanuel Musa
